Imagine

For just a moment- imagine hearing the story of our Savior’s life, death, and resurrection for the first time without knowing or even thinking that He would come back to life.

I hadn’t thought of this before, or if I had in a very long time, but I could not recall this feeling in my own life. I don’t remember the story told like so, without the little feeling of having already read ahead. This came to mind whilst reading Andrew Peterson’s post this afternoon before work, the entire post was magnificent to read. However, a certain paragraph stuck out to me and impacted my thoughts in a such a way that I will now attempt to elaborate on.

“When Jesus, the perfect man, God made flesh, cries out and exhales his dying breath, the sky is black and roiling, the ground shakes, the dead emerge from their tombs and haunt Jerusalem, and the sheep scatter. But Sunday morning, more than just the sun rises. Everything changes. It’s not just a story, it’s the story. A sudden joyous turn, indeed.”

The feeling of utter despair is a unique one indeed, but it is nothing compared to the eucatastrophe (a word coined by Tolkien as mentioned in Andrew’s blog  holding the meaning ‘a sudden and favorable resolution of events in a story; a happy ending’) that followed. I suppose this understanding came also from watching Transformers: Dark of the Moon for the first time last night. Something many of my close friends know about me is how deeply movies impact my thoughts and help me in understanding, especially emotions and other humans. There was a point in the movie where all truly seemed hopeless, for the first time in my memory I could not even begin to imagine how they would turn it around, for how long the movie had been already- I wondered if they would end it just so, a catastrophe. Our movie watching was interrupted at this point and it was paused, my mind churned and even despaired at the thought of the turn of events. However, shortly after we returned, it happened- everything was turned around in a hidden series of events that had been leading up to this wonderful moment, and for the first time it all seemed clear, the good would prevail once again.

Thinking back on it, this work of fiction and the emotionally wretching disaster that was turned around can not even begin to compare to the true story of Jesus Christ our Savior. I sat back for a moment and imagined it, seeing Him die, having no idea that He would ever come back. Sure, He said some things that seemed confusing, but at that moment, they were forgotten in mourning. Then, three days later, as hope had dwindled, to see Him, to hear that He was alive again. Blimey, it’s so astounding I can’t even quite imagine it myself.. What can compare to the great joy that would have rippled through my being upon seeing Him alive, hearing Him speak again.. And yet, I know a little piece of that myself.

I recall the despair and hopelessness in my own life, I recall wanting to turn to Him, but holding back secretly, I remember the moment when I decided I wanted to live for Him forever, I remember coming out of the water, being baptized, I remember seeking Him with such a great thirst for more after that moment, and living in that even still. As I recall these things, Ted Dekker’s description of the drowning in the Circle Trilogy rings clear in my mind, the feeling of drowning, only to discover that through dying, you are finally alive.

“What’s wrong with you? Are you blind? It’s life, you fools! Drown!” -Thomas, Red ~Ted Dekker

I could go on and ever on about all of this and the magnificent wonders I am continuing to discover through all Papi is showing me, but I will end with this. I look ever forward to the day when the eucatastrophe of death to this world comes, only to finally go home. Though, when I was younger, I dreaded death, I wanted to live on this earth as long as I could, now I realize the true meaning of what Paul said in Philippians 1:21

“For to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain.”

~Tori Lynn

Truth

John 14:16 Jesus said to him, “I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through Me.

Ahh yes, the truth. Some would say that the “Truths hurts”, I’ve heard it a bunch of times in the past month alone. People fear the truth. They tell you not to tell them things. The truth is powerful. The truth can be difficult to get a hold of. The truth is commonly buried. The lack of truth is binding. Lies create strongholds, lies fill the mind with bindings that make no room for truth.

Standing alone by the lines

We struggle to break the chains when the key lies within reach. Ignorant, we continue to struggle against the chains of lies and sink within them. The key awaits.

John 8:32 And you shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.”

Recently I’ve begun re-reading the Paradise novels (Showdown-Saint-Sinner). I am almost through Showdown again and it still speaks to me as much as it did the first time. Something I’ve realized in my own experiences and the experiences of others, is that those in the dark do not wish truth to be known, and when truth is known, they are raw and open. Exposed.

Part of me wants to go in depth on this, but another part wishes to leave it as it is. Simply the raw truth. The Truth will always prevail, as will Love. Always. There are times when the truth is hidden, but He will bring it forth.

Luke 8:17  For all that is secret will eventually be brought into the open, and everything that is concealed will be brought to light and made known to all.

Those who are really looking will find. Don’t go about life pretending to seek out Truth. If you are truly looking, you will find. You cannot simply give up on the search for truth or lies will overtake you.

Matthew 7:7 Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you.

Love and truth go hand in hand for we are called to a life of both. I love the truth. The path I’ve come across has been difficult at times, but never more than I can handle, in Him we grow stronger. In Him we learn to Love.

Ephesians 4:15 Instead, we will speak the truth in love, growing in every way more and more like Christ, who is the head of his body, the church.

One side note before I sign off, I have begun this program in which I will be reviewing books on here. I will by no means cease to blog as I do, but straight up book reviews will be mixed in. Thank you.

Live and Believe, Love and Hope, Do Everything You Do For His Glory. ~Tori Lynn

Sing O Child of Mine

So, the next week starting yesterday I’m going to read The Martyr’s Song by Ted Dekker every single night. It’s a short book, but a life changing one. It only takes me about an hour and a half to read each time, and I promise you that it will impact you in a way you never imagined. The first time I read it was on my first flight on the way to Costa Rica this year. Gabby, from whom I borrowed it was sitting behind me. Every chapter or less I would turn around, my mouth gaping open and excitedly shaking the book  “This is amazing!”, she just smiled back at me and said her little smirky line “Predicted” By the end of the book, I was in too much shock to turn around again, so I just held it in awe for most of the remainder of the ride, crying out to God.

I thought that was big, when I read it the second time through last night, I was almost in tears. Todd Agnew wrote a song for the book, after the song mentioned, the Martyr’s song. Every time I hear it, I sing it out, giggling along with the lyrics. Smiling, in awe of my God. Oh how I long for the day when I am finally home, but now, now I worship him with my life.

Until I read this book, I always had trouble understanding beauty fully. I knew what it was to a point before, but I never fully grasped at what my mind was swirling around in a mass of color. Death. Death is beautiful, so why do so many people fear it? I do not fear death in any form or way. “Oh death where is your sting?” Death is when we go home, at last we finally will be home.

Ah, how wonderful our God is, sing praise to His name. Fear not of death, trust in the one who created us. Who are we to doubt He knows what He’s doing? I never understood the prospect of Heaven as a child, or even until super recently. It seemed boring, unattractive. But how? Because it had been dulled to me. No religious answer will truly describe the wonders of our Lord God, don’t let anyone ruin the image for you. The wonders of God’s peace are like nothing you’ve ever seen. He created this world, but this is the world plagued with sin. One day, we will be home. Praise the Lord your God! Live your life now in such a way that you will not be ashamed. Live your life for Him and Him alone, rejoice oh child of God! <4

Live and Believe, Love and Hope, Do Everything You Do For His Glory. ~Tori Lynn

Are you willing?

This past weekend, our wonderful student leaders carted us leadership assistants to the beach with them for initiation. While the physical and mental challenges yielded oh so very much, one of the most amazing moments was one I had in my one on one time with God. One of our quiet times, we were out at a pier-like place, with a small section of marshy beach we could venture out on. I was walking through the edge of the water with my prayer journal, pouring my heart out to God when a little crab snapped at my foot. It stung a little, but not enough to bother me, so I walked a little deeper into the water. Overlooking the sunset, I breathed in the salty air. How can people see this and not believe? How can people believe and not act? “Take me Lord God, all I am is yours.” I whispered over the lapping waves.  “Do you believe?” “I believe” I smiled and giggled. “I love you Tori” “Oh Lord, how I love you” I read Jude, one of my favorite chapters. Completely humbled before Him, yet ecstatic with all He has blessed me with. “How far are you willing to go?” His question was simple. “As far as you take me Lord” I thought about that for a moment, how many are really willing to go where He sends them? How many ignore the call? And now, now I ask you. Are *you* willing? Are you willing to give up all comfort to follow His perfect will? Are you willing to trust that He really does know best? Are you willing to give up anyone and anything in your life? Are you willing to go where He sends you? Are you willing to be an outcast, a freak in this world’s eyes? Are you willing to *really* be different?

During the physical challenges, we were pushed to go further. We were reminded, if you can do this, you can do anything. Breaking the weak mentality is half of succeeding if not more. But first, you must act. Paul didn’t burn out after all he went through, what excuse do we have?

As Ted Dekker put it in Black, “But I’d follow him anywhere. I’d follow him over a cliff, believing that after leaping I’d be able to fly. I’d follow him into the sea, knowing I could breath underwater.” That is how I believe as well.

Live and Believe, Love and Hope, Do Everything You Do For His Glory. ~Tori Lynn

Blank Page

There is a blank page staring back at me, pleading and begging to be full. Empty. No matter what I try I simply cannot bring myself to plaster words on it. There is always plenty to write, and more than can be said, but I can never seem to say it.

“Wanna trip baby?” -Marsuvees Black (Paradise Novels, Ted Dekker)

Black is without a doubt the most malicious villain I’ve ever read of, but I see him in real life. He’s so real. So, there. More like a presence than an actual character, filling our minds with nonsense to numb us, fueling us with desires and “needs” to keep us out of his way. Drugging us useless with obsessions beyond the comprehension of alcohol or drugs. No, we’re hooked on something much, much worse and more destructive. It’s latched onto us and now we’re free falling into a miserably dark hole. There is an ever present rope following us down this hole and all we have to do is climb it. But we’re too emotionally attached to the creature plummeting with us. We’re perfectly capable of letting go, but there’s a high feeling that comes with plummeting and if we let go, there’s all that rope to climb, what fun is that? And what if the creature doesn’t come back for us? Then what? Also, we can always climb out of the hole later, it’s not like we can’t come back out. The further we go down, the less we remember about the outside of this hole, the less pleasing the rope looks, and the more slimy worms encompass the walls. At some point in the decent you realize how scared you are. And you realize you’re afraid of being scared. Releasing the creature you cling to the rope for dear life and catch your breath. A subtle updraft hits your feet as you begin to struggle up the rope. You’ve made a little progress but you begin to feel the heaviness of climbing the rope. You realize you have a sword in your belt, and a shield on your back. You begin to study the sword. You recall once being trained in sword fighting. You recall being warned of the creatures that live in these holes. You ask for strength and it comes. At last, you can see a piece of sky shining down in the hole, it’s far away but you can see it. The updraft hits your feet again, but you hear a subtle growl with it. Pulling out your sword you point it downward and continue climbing with one hand. “Never be caught off guard where you may fall” you recall hearing sometime outside of this hole. Searching your being you find a way to fasten yourself to the rope so that if you aren’t moving upward, you won’t slide downward. It makes the progress a little harder, but seems to be the right thing to do. Your sword catches the light from above and reflects it into the creature’s face just below your dangling feet. Panicking you freeze. Your sword was placed back in it’s sheath long ago and you fear that if you pull it out the creature will attack. The creature doesn’t move as you slowly pull your shield to the front. Once your shield is in place the creature rams it’s tail into your chest, throwing you up against the wall of the hole. You hear a voice from the top of the hole “Please come out” barely audible, but it reminds you that you should be climbing. How long have you been down here anyway? The creature continues to attack you and you remember you have a sword. Pulling it out you begin fighting the creature, only then you realize it isn’t trying to consume you, but tire you. It’s as if it cannot actually hurt you, but only wear you out. Sword and shield in hand you begin to ascend again, fighting off the creature while climbing. When you reach the top, the creature is stopped by the overwhelming light and retreats a ways to watch you as you run into the arms of those who love you. There it waits at the surface of the hole. Sometimes you miss the sensation of falling and draw near the hole, but then you remember fighting it off, so you stay your distance.

Our obsession is hopelessness.

It’s depressing, but not always emotionally. Heavy. Deep. Dark. And Crawling. I suggest you pray, I suggest you fight, I suggest you stand up. And now what? Once we’ve taken our stand, and fought the fight

“Now, we run for the hills and pray for the end to come quickly.” ~ Johnny Drake

1 Timothy 2:22 “Run from temptations that capture young people. Always do the right thing. Be faithful, loving, and easy to get along with. Worship with people whose hearts are pure.”

Live long and prosper, Tori Lynn.