Drafts Need Endings

If I could turn these letters into coherent thoughts and tie the stars together to form constellations, I would feel much more at ease.  The truth is, I’m not really on much of a writing hiatus at all.  Instead, I’ve been collecting fragments and scattered ideas to form something that will hopefully make sense in the end.  I’ve been building deep studies and piecing together the puzzle of my heart.  It’s been a rather messy process and I think my hands have come out with quite a few cuts and bruises, but I’m excited about the outcome of it all.

It’s much like cultivating an old garden.  I’ve been working the ground for a while now, but I’m finally starting to get to the end of all the rusty pieces and broken pottery.  Flowers are bursting forth, and it’s time to write their story.  My mind is full of eraser crumbs and scratched out ideas, but the horizon is endless and I can barely catch my breath as we dance through the sunset of this chapter.

Santa Monica Pier, March 2015

 

~Tori Lynn

Holding Back

Some things are difficult to write- not because the author does not want to portray them, but because life is delicate and words are clumsy.

Yet, there’s something beautiful in the mess, something to treasure in words that were too valuable to time perfectly.

Whilst digging through the depths of caged up thoughts and unspoken words, I’ve come to the conclusion that holding back is rarely worth it.

Once the rusty words and muddy thoughts are being excavated, you’ll find that the playground of your life is much more open for friends to stream in.  And as the open fields start to pour out, take in the view.  It really is extraordinary, and I’ll never forget the ones that helped me get here.

~Tori Lynn

The Process of Thought

A twisting whirlwind, a turn of the heart.  Everything changes and paths will again part.

DSCN6257

These twisting time tables will tell our stories.

The painted glass won’t hide the past and our hearts can only harbor so much before bursting.  As we wind the cords of friendship, surely things are about to change.

DSCN6258

Whether by a sunset skyline or stars past the city lights,
every inch of the future is worth the battle we fight tonight.

So look to the sky and take a deep breath,
the future awaits us and we haven’t finished yet.

~Tori Lynn

Information

So much information is poured into our minds every day. As much as I hate passing over a good looking book, article or even set of links, I have come to realize that we simply do not have the capacity to soak it all in.

I suppose that is how information defines us. As an individual, every person has their own set of information they have come by, or rather chosen. Some have less available and soak in every bit they can get their minds around, others have so much that it all starts bouncing off their skull eventually, and most of us have formed a sort of balance.

Storing information is a fairly common obsession in the human race. We like things preserved for future use, if such use ever comes. Then sometimes we memorize things only for a certain time period, eager to forget them as soon as we have been tested upon them.

I’m amazed at how one can not touch a bike for 10+ years and pick it up again with ease, yet if you leave your guitar in its case for a few weeks, it’s as if you had never played before.  Yet there is something still left over, a spark of a memory, a thin shadow.

So much information consumes us every day, yet we can hardly begin to soak up half as much as we’d like. Personally, I scroll past years worth of material every day that I would have loved to delve into. Alas, this is how our priorities define us.

Even in writing, I find myself agitated when I go without writing something decent everyday. However, I suppose it’s a rather grand idea. For seldom does one live a life worth writing about when they also have time to record every moment of it.

~Tori Lynn

So Many Pages

cropped-dscn6910.jpg

Pages.

Pages.

Pages.

I want to write page after page after page.

My fingers can’t fly fast enough across the keys.  I would be writing with paper and ink, but then I couldn’t see.

Ages.

Ages.

Ages.

Memories are overflowing through my fingertips and my brain can’t take it all in.

Everything is happening at once and it feels like it’s been ages since I’ve felt so much at the same time.

Endless.

Endless.

Endless.

These circumstances are endless.

After living a simple life for so long, I don’t know if I can ever get used to so much happening every single day.  This adventure is massive.

Thoughts.

Thoughts.

Thoughts.

So much has happened that I don’t know how to think.

Yet, nothing ever really stops happening anymore.  There’s hardly a moment to check your mind in the mirror, so hang on tight and ask for advice.

Rush.

Rush.

Rush.

They say the city never sleeps, but I never imagined it like this.

As much as I love living so much all at once, I’m not sure how long I can do this.  I’ll live it to the fullest, but one day, God, please give me a place to rest.

Moving.

Moving.

Moving.

Everything is always changing, nothing stays still.

You have to keep up, don’t let yourself be idle.  When you have so much in reach, idleness is harder to climb out of.

Sleep.

Sleep.

Sleep.

The city never sleeps, and neither does my mind.

With so much to process, it’s a wonder my body even rests.  My mind wanders miles away each night and I’m not sure it always comes back.

Grow.

Grow.

Grow.

I’ll set my roots so firm in You.

Nothing will shake me, not even this crazy city life.  If I trust only in You, all of this will be for the best, even when it makes no sense.

Trust.

Trust.

Trust.

I’ve gotta let go, fall face first into this life.

Because with You by my side, I have to know that everything is going to work out right.  You never let me down.

~Tori Lynn

Grow

The tree starts as a soft sprout, barely breaking the ground. It grows and branches out, surviving the first harsh winter. Year after year it grows, with every branch, the trunk supports it with new strength. As the branches stretch into the sky, the trunk is forgotten and left behind. Though the trunk in all it’s strength is seen as only a beginning, it supports both branch and root, careful to not neglect either. The branches are caressed by the gentle wind and the roots embraced by the dirt, but the trunk stands alone in the sun always doing its work. The branches can’t grow an inch without the trunk feeling it and growing as well, and yet it is forgotten. Some branches grow closer to the tree and sprout many more other branches, these are much larger than the ones that sprout from them.

This tree has been thriving deeply in my mind for a very long time, I’ll let you find what you think about it on your own. To draw this tree, I took each stroke to the full, beginning at the bottom of the trunk and extending to the end of where the branch went at the time until it continued to stretch and fill the paper. I cannot even begin to explain what this means in my mind, but there’s so much to it.

My Tree

~Tori Lynn