SUSPENSE

So let’s say you’re waiting for something and it seems so stinking far away, you get this thought, you feel like it’l never come, it’s over, forget it, you missed it somehow. Then you get another slight shred of hope again, but however slight it is, it helps. Every day the suspense eats at you, if it gets that bad it can make one sick. You begin to go a little insane and console yourself with something like video games, writing, reading, music, anything. It helps temporarily, but eventually the suspense even invades your mind during those times. If the moment you’re waiting for doesn’t happen already you might just explode and you know it. You do your best to calm yourself down but it’s not working anymore. It’s like a drought, you’re thirsty and you just need water already. The lack of water is making you sick and you’re doing your best to find it. Then you know when it’s going to happen, maybe someone told you, maybe you guessed, either way you KNOW, then it doesn’t happen, which drives you further into insanity. At this point you aren’t even yourself anymore,  people close to you are starting to get seriously concerned about you. Maybe you don’t eat, maybe you can’t think straight, maybe you just can’t seem to laugh the same, or smile as true. Either way, you lose hope, you begin wondering what’s happened, then all of a sudden you see one chance of relief of this suspense and it gets ripped out from under you. You recover slowly, then before you know it, the moment is there. You stop breathing for a second to comprehend what’s happening, emotion overwhelms you, all you can do is smile, you open your mouth to say something, but words fail you. You can’t seem to stop smiling, the emotions overwhelming you seem to get stronger, you’ve waited for this for so long and you can’t believe it’s here. You might even feel stupid for not having a better reaction then you did, nonetheless your excitement continues to build. It was worth the wait. Everything’s better now, even if it’s still a mess, it’s a better mess and you’re happy. Before you know it the moment’s over but it will never leave your heart.

Live long and prosper, Tori Lynn.

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